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[CQ-Contest] Violets Smelling Contest

To: CQ Contest <cq-contest@contesting.com>
Subject: [CQ-Contest] Violets Smelling Contest
From: Yuri Blanarovich <k3bu@optimum.net>
Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2017 22:01:52 -0400 (EDT)
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Amateur Radio has profound effect on life outside of ham radio. Based on inventions and progress made in ham radio DXing and contesting, lives of ordinary citizens just became less stressing, divorce rates dropped almost to zero, people are happier, no crime, no illegal immigration.
 
It is all thanks to VSC - Violet Smelling Contest recently announced by UN.
Based on recent developments and enhancements in ham radio contesting:
 
1. Internet Ham Service - where hams are relieved of boring and tedious search for NEW ones, by simply joining the various services feeding the call signs and frequencies to ham gladiators and allowing them to clikaroo - just click on the ONE you need or want, radio is tuned on, call is made and voila, NEW one is nailed and put in your DX or multiplier bag. Further automation of operating ham station is allowing to free the operator from tedious build/search/find/call/work/log operation making contesting much more enjoyable. Like shooting animals in the ZOO or fishing in the aquarium? This is for you! 
 
2. RentaStation - where hams do not even need to have station, no need for ugly towers and antennas, no need for thousands of dollars invested in equipment, no need to live in rare country. All you need is notebook computer, internet connection and pair of slippers. You can be contest gladiator by just renting the access to somebody else's station. All you need is to buy the call sign and you can pretend to be anybody you can afford to buy the access to. Shopping list of RentaStations is growing and offering exciting opportunities to pretend to be RARE one with BIIIIIG signal just from small laptop and no antennas.
 
3. Very soon you will not even need to bother with operating, ContestRobots are being tested. Capability of operating on multiple frequencies at the same time, on all bands will annihilate human operators and will win all the trophies - all while you are just checking progress on your smartphone, working on your tan on the beach. 
 
Gone are the days when Ham Radio Contesting required to have license issued to a person to allow to operate/transmit and build the station, acquire skills to operate, learn about propagation and keep your butt in a chair for hours. The Luddites are saying it used to be fun. Now there is more fun and pleasure for not operating and the rest of the world is learning and adjusting.
 
Social justice and well being department of UN just came up with contest for regular, non ham mortals:
Violets Smelling Contest!
All one needs to participate is to have gas mask. The winner will be announced at the next plenary session of UN. The objective of the contest is to smell maximum number of violets while wearing the gas mask. No Internet is allowed. Just pleasure and fun of smelling the violets through the gas mask. No need to be overwhelmed by the smell of violets, just enjoy the smelling through the rented remote mask.
 
Rumor is that UN is working on sponsoring the contest for Sex Robots, that are to relieve the population from the drudgery of having sex, no need for wives, partners, hoookers, let the robots do the "contesting". Number of ham radio pioneers are being hired by UN to organize the wave of fun for growing restless population. Nobel prizes for ham pioneers behind the liberating technologies are being readied and will be awarded at the next Dayton Haminvention. Very soon you will be able to do everything just with your smartass cell phone, while at the beach, or just using beach pictures as phone's background while having fun winning.
I am taking list for next one.
 
73 de Yurko da BUm  
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