Just a bit more to improve all of our frame of mind. Copied from the sane
world.
Cheers, Carl KM1H
Subject: [Fwd: (Fwd) your career & elephant hunting]
To: <amps@contesting.com>
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 1997 13:03:28 -0400
Message-ID: <3418245F.3687@worldnet.att.net>
> Hunting an Elephant
> =================
>
> MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out
everything
> that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.
>
> EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at
> least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate
> exercise.
>
> PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence of at least one
> unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual
> elephant as an exercise for their graduate students
>
> COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:
> 1. Go to Africa.
> 2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
> 3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent
> alternately east and west.
> 4. During each traverse pass,
> a. Catch each animal seen.
> b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
> c. Stop when a match is detected.
>
> EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a known
> elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.
>
> ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS prefer to execute Algorithm A on their
> hands and knees.
>
> ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at
> random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus
15
> percent of any previously observed elephant.
>
> ECONOMISTS don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants
are
> paid enough, they will hunt themselves.
>
> STATISTICIANS hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an
> elephant.
>
> CONSULTANTS don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted anything
at
> all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do.
>
> OPERATION RESEARCH CONSULTANTS can also measure the correlation of hat
> size and bullet color to the efficiency of elephant-hunting
strategies, if
> someone else will only identify the elephants.
>
> POLITICIANS don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants
you
> catch with the people who voted for them.
>
> VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING, RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT try hard to
hunt
> elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent it. When the vice
> president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure
that all
> possible elephants are completely prehunted before the vice president
sees
> them. If the vice president does see a nonprehunted elephant, the
staff
> will (1) compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge
> itself to prevent any recurrence.
>
> SENIOR MANAGERS set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the
> assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper
> voices.
>
> QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS ignore the elephants and look for
mistakes
> the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.
>
> SALES PEOPLE don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling
elephants
> they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens.
>
> HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell them as
> desktop elephants.
>
> SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE ship the first thing they catch and write up an
> invoice for an elephant.
>
>
--
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