My Fellow contesters,
As your faithful scribe from B.N.N., I have been sitting on this
news? story for some time to protect the reputations of some of
the finest contesters on this reflector. With the recent news of
the advent of cloning, and with my udder most respect for those
individuals involved, with a heavy heart, it sadens me to break
the following news story.
Dateline: Edinboro, PA
To quote Forest Gump, "Shlitz Happens", especially when drinking
beer with dr. John Kanzius K3TUP, at the Edinboro country club after
one of his famous "TUP" golf summerfests, held each year for the
North Coast Contesters.
I was interviewing John for a club newsletter and asked him how
he ended up in the broadcasting business (WJET Radio, WJET-TV)
even though he was a medical doctor. He said, "I always wanted to be
loud, so it was a natural graduation from 1500 watts to 50 kw."
He said his real love was Native American History, Contesting,
and Medicine.
In the 1960's while others were gathering up loads of AB-105, John
was attending Medical School at the University of Pittsburgh.
During a summer sabatical in North Dakota, doing a paleology study
and dig, he accidently unearthed the lost grave and remains of a
Native American called "Chief Cloud Warmer", even though he was no
Sitting Bull, he was famous in his own right.
History will attest that "Chief Cloud Warmer" was one of the first
contesters of the Americas and possibly the best. During those times
the tribes would hold their anal smoke signaling contests, quite
similar in many respects to todays present contests. He continued
to dominate these contests his entire life, well beyond the point
of remembering the original intent of the purpose of smoke signals.
The contest were be held in October, and during the year Cloud Warmer
would travel the praire on expeditions all year to gather up the biggest
and most moist Buffalo Chips. Not only did he have the biggest and most
Buffalo Chips, he had the highest plateau, the wettest blankets, the
hottest fire and finally the biggest smoke clouds.
But, now back to the present with dr. Kanzius. He told me that he had
kept some of the genetic material and had been working on a project
involving both invitro fertilization and cloning while doing research
at the University back in the 60's. I sat there and looked at John for
several minutes without saying a word, and finally in a little qrp
voice, I asked him the big question.
He said yes, and I said "who"? He then spilled out their calls, I
really never expected an answer, moments later I expectorated a
moist wet one myself, I fidgeted on my bar stool for a little bit
and we continued the conversation.
He said over the years most of them had grown up in the area and
he was able to keep subtle contact with them. Once they reached
12 or 13 years of age, he would accidently on purpose, benignly
introduce them to amateur radio and contesting. At that point the
genetics took control and they developed into outstanding contesters.
He said the only mishap is one of them did actually did burn down
the family house once or twice, but other than that, they all turned
out to be pretty well adjusted kids.
At this very moment as I'm typing this post, I'm having a large
fight with myself, whether or not to expose these clones, because
as you read this, you may very well turn out to be one of them.
On the other hand, if your not one of them, you will realize the
futility in ever trying to beat them in a contest.
They are K3UA, K3LR, KB3AFT, WB0O, WD0T & KN5H.
Epilogue:
K3UA & K3LR: The first clones, their success speaks for itself.
KB3AFT: The last of the genetic material and the last of the clones,
Jim is just coming into his own and will be heard from in
the contesting world for years.
WB0O: Through the call of nature and genetics, Bill moved to N. Dakota
and now resides within 100 meters of Chief Cloud Warmers final
resting place.
WD0T: Todd now resides in S. Dakota and is a casino manager of the
most successful Native American casino.
KN5H: Hose now resides near Taos, N. Mexico and is the ceo of a chain
of roadside stands specializing in imported Navajo jewelry.
Sincerely,
dr. Bafoofnik
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