ROTFLMAO!
73, Mike NF4L
Jeff Carter wrote:
> >From the ARRL's Contester's Rate Sheet for March 26, 2003:
>
> Something we all need to know is an exact method for finding True
> North. Having observed several in-depth discussions on this topic, I
> believe that I have distilled the assembled wisdom of many emails into
> the following guaranteed 13-step process:
>
> 1 -- Stack all patio furniture in the garage. No particular reason,
> just do it.
> 2 -- Don your tower climbing belt, which must include two gorilla
> hooks and a positioning lanyard, lots of caribeeners, a Danforth
> anchor and a planetary gearhead.
> 3 -- Prepare some epoxy and obtain 200 meters of Thelman wire.
> 4 -- Use a slingshot, fishing rod, or potato gun to fling the Thelman
> wire through the top of the tower. Secure it to a convenient guy
> anchor with a caribeener and a Singapore Sling tied in a Four-In-Hand
> Knot.
> 5 -- Climb the tower.
> 6 -- Return down the tower to pick up the Plastic Owl.
> 7 -- Climb the tower.
> 8 -- Return down the tower to brief the ground crew and agree on hand
> signals. Name the Plastic Owl.
> 9 -- Go to the bathroom and climb the tower again in that order.
> 10 -- At the top of the tower, scare away the birds by securing the
> Plastic Owl to the wasp's nest using the Danforth anchor. Attach the
> planetary gearhead to the Thelman wire using the epoxy.
> 11 --Clip your positioning lanyard to the gearhead and spin around the
> tower twice saying, "There's no place like home, there's no place like
> home."
> 12 -- Yell down to the ground crew and have them point to True North.
> Take the average of the directions in which they point and compute the
> vector cross-product. You may ignore your estimated direction because
> you're a scalar. (Sorry, obscure math joke.)
> 13 - Mark a large "X" on the side of your tool bucket. This is True
> North and so shall it always be.
> _______________________________________________
>
>
>
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