>
>
>
> >Noah's Ark Today---- Sort of like Tower Problems......
> >
> >The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to
> >make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the
> >evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and
> >two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build
> >an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications
> >for the ark.
> >
> >"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the
> >blueprints, "I'm your man."
> >
> >"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better
> >have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"
> >
> >Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to
> >fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his
> >yard, weeping, and there was no ark.
> >
> >"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed
> >into the ground right beside Noah.
> >
> >"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were
> >some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's
> >construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire
> >an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with
> >him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."
> >
> >"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances
> >by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from
> >the city planning board."
> >
> >"Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because
> >there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to
> >convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
> >that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me
> >catch them, so no owls."
> >
> >"Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal
> >rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind."
> >
> >"Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't
> >complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on
> >your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they
> >had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."
> >
> >"Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan.
> >I sent them a globe!"
> >
> >"Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal
> >Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to
> >hire."
> >
> >"The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave
> >the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some
> >kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less
> >than five years."
> >
> >With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
> >arched across the sky.
> >
> >Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to
> >destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.
> >
> >"No," said the Lord, "the government already has."
Not an original.
de Carl -WA8AA-
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