Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give
you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably
will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we
ask you to PLEASE FOR [HEAVEN]'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE
YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE.......... YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU
UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND
NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR
VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD," THIS CHILD ALSO IS
FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE
INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE
FACTORY
BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?
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