Buck,
I'm proud of you as it just goes to show HUMOR, even
out here, is NOT DEAD!!! Fortunately the ORION
nit-picking is rather sparse!!! Just goes to prove
overall it's a damn great rig!!!
Jim/nn6ee
*************************************
--- K4IA@aol.com wrote:
> Since everyone has their gripes and answers, I
> thought the following summary
> of airline repair posts and responses might be of
> interest to the list.
> Supposedly they are actual repair requests from
> pilots and the response received
> from the airline's service department. These could
> easily be adapted to the
> Orion discussion.
>
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
> feet per minute descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
> be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> And the best one for last.................
>
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
> like a midget pounding
> on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget
>
> Radio k4ia
> "Buck"
> Fredericksburg, VA USA
>
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> TenTec@contesting.com
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>
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