I read this reflector and plow through all the useless information about radios
just to occasionally find a gem like this.
Jim
W8IT
Sherrill WATKINS wrote:
> The attached is forwarded to help any Yankee's understand Southeren drawl;
> especially when copied with a narrow SSB filter.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Subject: HICKBONICS
To: <tentec@contesting.com>
> Date: Wed, 10 Nov 1999 21:56:30 -0500
> From: "Warren Mitchell" <wmitchel@concentric.net>
> To: sewatkins@dgs.state.va.us
>
>
> The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of
> the seemingly endless taxpayer dollars pipelined through
> Washington by designating Southern slang, or Hickbonics," as a language to
> be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would
> be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the
> Hickbonics/English dictionary:
>
> HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
>
> HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
> Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"
>
> BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
> Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
>
> JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
> Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
>
> BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is
> Berminhayum.
> Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000
> in improvements."
>
> MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
> Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't
> herd from him in munts."
>
> THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
> Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
>
> BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and
> yeast.
> Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
>
> IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
> Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
>
> RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
> Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck
> my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
>
> ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
> Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup
> truck."
>
> FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
> Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my
> pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
>
> TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
> Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a
> flat tar in my pickup truck."
>
> TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
> Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to
> see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
>
> RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
> Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
>
> FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
> combat.
> Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
>
> RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
> Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
>
> FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
> Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some
> farn country."
>
> DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
> Usage: "He's did, Jim."
>
> EAR - (noun) - A colourless, odourless gas: Oxygen.
> Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"
>
> BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
> Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
>
> JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
> Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that
> bob war fence cump'ny?"
>
> HAZE - a contraction.
> Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked
> but a minnit'n 'is laf."
>
> SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
>
> VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
> Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"
>
> GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
> Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
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